Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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