I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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