if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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