Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
