i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
