I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
