She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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