so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
