He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
