Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
