yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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