Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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