is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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