i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
