I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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