ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
