i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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