3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
