What a fucking waste of an outfit
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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