dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
