she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
