so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
