Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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