At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
