I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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