dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
