She's JV to your varsity
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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