he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
