Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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