i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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