I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
