I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
