Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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