he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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