I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
