So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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