There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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