All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
