ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
