We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
did you just send me my own nude
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
