If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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