This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
