I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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