We need to rekindle our bromance
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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