Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
