my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i don't like sucking hair
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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