I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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