i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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