Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
