All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Your penis caused this!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
