I will die if light touches me.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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