i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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