I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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